What could have been
by Milana8
Summary: She was gone. Gone. His Charlotte. Daniel closed his eyes and wished things were different. He wished with his entire heart, with his entire soul. And, perhaps, from somewhere else, Charlotte was wishing too… Post 5x05, Charladay. Please review :) !


"I'm not allowed to have chocolate before dinner" she said.  
Then, she did not close her eyes. She did not smile at him, did not breathe stronger. She just… left, slowly, peacefully, as if it was just meant to be.  
But it wasn't.

Alone with her abandoned envelope, Dan was unable to stand this light but empty gaze staring at him. He delicately swept his hand over her eyelids, pressing her eyes gently shut. The tears started slipping down his cheeks, at first almost as easily as she had left. When the tears finally became too numerous for him to see through, he laid down next to her and grabbed her still-warm hand.  
That's when it hit him. Soon, that hand would be cold, dead, completely lifeless. She wasn't there with him anymore, and there was not a thing in this world he could do to change that.

He tried pressing her body against his in a desperate attempt to bring back its heat, tried kissing her cheeks to bring back their colour. He hugged her body so tight he feared he might break it. The severest sobs he'd ever felt shook him. She was gone.  
Gone.  
His Charlotte.

He closed his eyes and wished things were different. He wished with his entire heart, with his entire soul. And, perhaps, from somewhere else, Charlotte was wishing too…

 _"Day is long gone; they're both gazing at the stars, alone on Oxford's roof. She's smiling like she always does when they're together. Since they returned from the island, everything has been so different.  
When they had landed at the airport and parted ways, he had feared he might not see her again. Yet, here he is, sitting in the night sky right by her side. He watches her staring at the moon, her blue eyes twinkling in the moonlight like two of the loveliest stars, and he feels once more how much he loves this woman.  
He grabs her hand, and she looks at him. The world stops turning, the night sky and the roof disappear, and they're all alone. They're beautiful. They're free. She moves closer, and he finally kisses her. A warm, slow kiss, full of promises."_

 _« It's winter now, and they're watching TV on the sofa. A fire's keeping them warm in the fireplace, and he's brought some hot chocolate. On the screen, a helicopter has just crashed. She huddles up against him._

 _"We're so lucky to be alive," she whispers.  
He nods and presses her head against his chest.  
"Dan?" she asks, almost shyly, for once.  
"Hmm?"  
"I love you."  
He smiles. That's the first time she has ever admitted it. "I love you, too." »_

 _« The priest smiles warmly at them. Today's the big day, the one they've been planning for almost a year. He looks at her. She looks so perfect in her white dress, a bouquet of wildflowers poised in her hands. Her red hair is curling despite how much the hair stylist has been trying to keep it straight. She's smiling, glowing in the light filtering into the church, looking almost like an angel.  
"I do." »_

 _« "It's cold," she giggles as the doctor spreads the ultrasound gel on her round belly.  
"I know, but it's worth it. Look, there's your baby- there's the head, and there, his hands," the doctor answers.  
_ _Dan stares at the screen with a blissful smile, watching his baby's first pictures. He almost can't believe that soon, this tiny little thing will become a real human being… his child. Their child. He looks at Charlotte, amazed, and finds her eyes brimming with tears.  
"_ _Don't cry, dear," he whispers. "Everything'll be fine. You'll be an amazing mother."  
She shakes her head. "I'm not sad, Dan. I'm thrilled." »_

 _« She smashes his hand in hers, and her scream must be heard from even outside the town.  
"_ _You're doing great! Come on, you're almost there!" he encourages, staring at her. He just can't stop glancing at her, and he feels like every time he does, he loves her a bit more.  
"Just one more push…" the doctor says.  
"And here we are! Look, you have a healthy little girl..." He hands the baby to her mother, who's already crying from joy and exhaustion. Dan smiles.  
_ _"What will you name her?" the doctor asks.  
"Hope," he answers. »_

 _« "Mommy, Daddy, we have big news to tell you."  
_ _They're all gathered together for Christmas. Their daughter's children are playing around the christmas tree, already talking about the presents they'll get the next day.  
Their son clears his throat again. "Sonia's pregnant; you're going to be grandparents again."  
Charlotte smiles, and Dan reaches for her hand. »_

 _« She lays in their bed, so weak he can barely stand watching her. Her white hair rests on the pillow like snow in the winter.  
He caresses her wrinkled hand and notices the wedding ring on it. He sees the inscription on it that they chose when they were young: "I'll love you till the end."  
_ _She squeezes his hand back and slowly closes her eyes as if she were just having a nap. At their age, it's something they do quite often. But, this time, it's different. He knows it; she's gone, and the time has come for him to leave this world, too. He lays next to her, and closes his eyes. They breathe one last time, and leave for another land.  
Together, till the end. »_

He sobbed and opened his eyes. He was back on the island, and nothing had changed. She was still there, her nose red with blood, her pale skin even paler because of death, her beautiful red hair tangled with dirt. Her normally vibrant blue eyes closed forever.  
Dan was still there, too, all alone with the memory of that woman he loved, and the painful dreams of what could have been…  
He hugged her tighter, as if even what remained of her could disappear.

It did. She did disappear. The time jumped again, started moving again, and he found himself alone, hugging the emptiness in front of him. He shivered. The cold had seeped into his heart, the kind of freezing cold that no heat can rewarm.

Through his tears, he noticed a flash of gold, and stared at his left hand.  
A wedding ring, old and worn… On it, he read, "I'll love you till the end."

He took it off and squeezed it so hard its engravings almost became carved into his palm.  
"Oh, Charlotte…"


End file.
